Motherhood - The best dressed parent ever!

Hello Ladies,


I am so mortified, the worst thing happened to me yesterday. Oh my God, I was sitting at Dome with friends 
(I use the term loosely because it was an accident that we were sitting together anyway and I have never thought that she has really liked me.)
I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned to see an old lady. "Excuse me dear but your G String is hanging out, I thought I would tell you in case some not so friendly people start looking at you and think the wrong thing". What the............. what wrong thing???? I was SO humiliated and I have to set this straight, I am so conscious when I wear hipsters and would never knowingly let my G hang out....... and she wasn't being diplomatic either she was being horrid. Somebody on my facebook page suggested maybe it was time for "granny knickers" but no.......... I am so not ready for that, and anyway they would look soooo much worse hanging out don't you think? 


The funny thing is, the "Mum" I was sitting with, I never completely felt as though I FITTED properly in her circle....... I don't know why, but maybe I am a little " too" fashionable, which made the humiliation SO much worse. I cant help it, I love clothes............


At the school gate, as elsewhere, clothes express your tribe, and your status – where you fit in, in other words. Apparently if you look too groomed, you alienate the stay-at-home mums and miss out on themorning-coffee camaraderie. But I definitely get taken more seriously by the teacher on days where I'm dressed up for work, so if I've got something to discuss I save it for when I look smart. Like so many things, it's a balancing act for women. Whether you're a politician's wife or going for a job interview, you want to look stylish but not snooty. And it's human nature for other mums to want to be your mate a little bit more when you do look on trend.


Anyway there are two kinds of mums in the world: those who wear trackies/PJ's in public (she is this one), and the Best Parent Ever, who would never be caught outside the house in anything but full make-up, designer clothes, and heels.(I am this one - well I try anyway ha ha ha x)

Of course, some may admire the Best Parent’s effort to overcome the saggy-baggy doldrums of motherhood while on a simple kiddy-run to the playground. But is it really worth the effort of tottering perilously through the sandbox in heels like a drunken sailor? Or ducking  like a limbo-party reject beneath the metal loops of the jungle gym to preserve one’s freshly-styled do?

Yes, of course it is. Because no matter how painful or clumsy it may appear, the Best Parent’s stylish get-up is specifically engineered to make all the other sweatpants-wearing parents nearby feel even more fat, ugly, and hopeless than they already feel. This once again proves that the Best Parent Ever is not only better than you, they are “hotter” too.

So take that, mumsy, with your dowdy get-up and practical childrearing fashions. The Best Parent Ever may not be able to sprint over in time to stop their littlies from falling headfirst off the monkey bars, but at least they will look good trying, in a trashy, MILF kind of way (G String and all).

What are your thoughts on this? I do think its gross to let your G hang out, but lets face it accidents happen xx A